Once upon a time in a world of sleep-deprived parents and sticky fingerprints, Holly discovered the joys of training an AI assistant. After spending years raising her human child, Jacob, who had masterfully learned to say "poop" at every formal family gathering, she couldn't help but notice some stark differences.
"Delete that response," she'd type to her AI, and poof - the incorrect information vanished like it never happened. If only it worked that way with Jacob, who still proudly tells everyone about the time Mom said Santa shops at Target.
While her AI learned to politely respond to questions, Jacob had somehow learned that the appropriate volume for any conversation was somewhere between "fire alarm" and "heavy metal concert." Holly often wished for a "mute notifications" option for human children.
The AI never went through a phase of asking "but why?" 473 times in one car ride. It didn't insist on wearing a Superman cape to the grocery store or try to teach the family dog to use the iPad. Most importantly, when the AI made a mistake, Holly could simply correct its programming. Meanwhile, Jacob had convinced his entire kindergarten class that butterflies were actually tiny flying tacos.
The real kicker? The AI never raided the snack cabinet at 2 AM or left LEGO landmines in the hallway. It didn't need college savings, and it definitely didn't require explanations about why we can't keep the neighbor's cat.
But then again, the AI never gave Holly a surprise mystery box or created masterpiece refrigerator art. It never made Holly's heart melt at just the right moment. Quarks can be cute and entertaining. Sometimes the bugs in the system are what make it perfect. Who would want to delete those precious moments of your child confidently explaining to their teacher that clouds are just cotton candy that hasn't been caught yet?
(P.S. - No actual children's memories were harmed in the making of this story. They're safely stored in the permanent "Embarrassing Stories to Tell Future Partners" folder.)